An Emotion Unjustified

     

           AN EMOTION UNJUSTIFIED

It was the 13th of April, the peak of the ‘King of Seasons’, Spring. The word spring, the season too, had a deep connection to my roots, my inner self. It was inevitably written on all pages of my life’s mysterious book, entangled with emotions: nostalgic happiness and wrenching pain. This day was a crucial day in the lives of my father and I. Was it my or his birthday? Was it a day of pleasure? No.

 It was my mother’s 5th death anniversary. My mother, my life, was snatched away from me by the Almighty on this very day, 5 years ago. Did I blame him? I guess not. Everyone likes precious things, is not it? My mother was a precious person. If Angels had a mortal form, it would’ve undoubtedly coincided in my mother. An exaggeration? No, a sweet truth! My dad rushed pass the corridor and approached a dull I, looking at my mother’s photo on the placid walls of my house. “Your Mother wanted me to give this to you as you grew up, and today was the best day for it”, said my father to me in a calming tone. What was it? It was a pendant she used to wear as a child. A pendant with an ‘S’. Wondering what was its meaning? It was the initial of my mother’s name, ‘Spring’. She was indeed a lady, more beautiful than the budding flowers of spring, more placid than the pure white expanses of Orchids (my mother’s favorite flower), and that is why her father had named her ‘Spring’. She had succumbed to the transition in the weather, from winter to spring, due to pneumonia. Only I knew the pain of becoming an orphan at the tender age of 8. I immediately snatched the pendant from my father’s hands and rushed to my room. I stood in front of the mirror and placed the pendant across my neck. What I could see in front of me, was my mother looking at me, through my eyes, claiming to always be with me till eternity. An emotion arose within me, which undoubtedly was a mixture of many others. I did not know what I actually felt at that moment, what did my little red heart want? At one end of the shore of life, I felt an immense pain, the echoes of the word ‘Spring’ haunted my ears, and shook me from the innermost part of my soul. On the other end, stood my mother’s reflection, I could feel her with me, putting her hand on my forehead and singing me my favorite lullaby, as she used to many years ago. It was indeed an extremely delightful and secure feeling. But what came to me finally, was a trapped son, stuck in middle of a never-ending sea, with no shore visible on either end, with silence, silence and silence everywhere. As my imagination broke, and the reality stood steady before me, I deemed of nothing but the refuge of the Almighty!